I am a Vampire
by SwooningEdwardFan52
Summary: This story takes place after the end of the first twilight book. It is a Edward and Bella pairing. You will read it and then you will review it. Vampires/Humans/Hybrids AU V/H OOB. R/L E/B. R&RB /E R/EM A/J AH YMCA oneshot.


"I am a Vampire."

A Twilight fan-fiction

This story takes place after the end of the first twilight book. It is a Edward and Bella pairing. Vampires/Humans/Hybrids AU V/H OOB. R/L E/B. R&RB /E R/EM A/J AH YMCA oneshot.

"Is it not enough just to have a long and happy life with me?" Edward asked.

"For now." Bella replied.

Edward then popped off his top to reveal a hairless chest comprised of thick corded chest muscles that seemed to dance under his pale man-flesh. His dark, swollen, puffy nipples glistened with a light sheen of sweat in the night's chilled air. Bella swooned at the sight of his abdominal muscles, all fourteen of them, like perfect sand dunes at the beach.

He was a stallion on fire. He was a wrecking ball of manliness destroying an Olive Garden that was her heart. He was a rocket-ship on its way to the moon. New Moon that is.

"Oh, Edward…Your body is so magnificent, its like a dream." Bella chirped breathlessly.

"Yeah I know, as a Vampire my body is always at the apex of perfection." Edward sighed, as his breasts did that jiggling thing that happens when guys flex their booby muscles.

Edward then swept Bella off her feet with one giant arm and he then leapt over the railing with the other. They landed on a beautiful white horse that waited quietly below. Bella felt her spine tingle as she held onto Edwards enormous back muscles that were slick with his perspiration. She shyly moved her hands onto his bulging oblique muscles and she gasped at how hot his supple, flawless skin felt.

The horse raced on through the frigid night without slowing down until Edward commanded the horse to stop. The horse then stopped as Edward commanded him to do. As soon as Edward was done commanding the horse to stop he turned to Bella.

"My Vampire super senses are warning me of danger right now." Edward exclaimed. "I think it's coming from that misty lagoon just over that hilly brush over there."

"Oh Edward, I'm so frightened. Let's go back to the Prom where it is safe." Bella pleaded.

"Have no fear woman. I am a Vampire!" And with a manly roar he charged the horse through the hilly brush and into the murky lagoon.

"Hmm…My Vampire super senses are pulsating. Where could it be coming from?"

Suddenly, A familiar voice called out to the couple on the white steed.

"So we meet again, Edward Collins! Oh and I see you brought a snack with you!"

"James!" Bella cried out. "Oh my gosh! We dismembered you and then burned you alive and checked your pulse and you were dead!"

"Foolish Woman! I am a Vampire!" James shrieked.

Edward then did a back-flip off the horse onto the soft sandy bank of the lagoon and then did a cartwheel and landed in front James. Bella was shocked by such an impressive display of acrobatics and almost fainted, but was brought back to her senses when Edward suddenly spoke.

"No one calls my woman foolish but me." Edward said fiercely through gritted teeth, he then procured a pair of black shades out of his tight pants pocket and then put them on his perfectly chiseled face. "Let's dance."

Bella could hardly follow the swift movements of the two Vampires because they were Vampires and Vampires are totally super fast. Edwards body heaved in exertion, his rippling muscles pumping in effort to rid the world of his nemesis.

Edward somersaulted into the moon filled sky and threw a ninja star which flew right underneath James thumbnail on his right hand which happed to be in his pants pocket. Edward Cullons was a master with ninja stars. He also had complete mastery of fly fishing and was a seasoned lumberjack. He was manly in many rugged ways. He was a cake made of beef.

After suffering a massive blow, James raised his hand halting the cyclone of punishment that was Edward Cullings.

"You've gotten better…"James said, simply stunned at the majestic beauty of Edward's hulking body. His pants seemed to be almost painted on. Very tight, almost to the point of exploding off, which would reveal two pale buttock cheeks of steel.

"Yes I know, I am a Vampire, therefore I am the greatest." Edward remarked, running a hand through his perfectly styled Moon-pie colored hair. "I am a class five Vampire. You are a class one. That is why I am better than you. I'm also in very good shape."

"Oh…" James said crestfallen.

"You may leave now." Edward said as he did a triple axel jack-knife flip onto the horse.

"Oh ok…sorry." James murmured and then he shuffled off into the mist of the murky lagoon.

"You were wondrous Edward! Wondrous!" Bella exclaimed. She could hardly keep her fragile heart from beating out of her chest.

"Yeah I know. I am a Vampire and Vampires sometimes fight other Vampires and their fights are pretty cool to watch for humans, who can't fight as well as Vampires." Edward remarked nonchalantly.

As they rode out into the sunrise Belle sighed.

"Oh, I wish I was a vampire…" Bella lamented. Tears started to fall from her green hued eyes. They were very green. Class five green almost, but not quite.

"Get a hold of yourself woman!" Edward Cullingans commanded. He used his Vampire super powers on her and then she was silent and submissive: Just the way he liked his women.

Just then Edward's prom slacks exploded off to reveal a corduroy thong that was personally designed for his sculpted pelvic region by none other than famous fashion designer, Ann Demeulemeester.

"Oh Edward!" Bella exclaimed, her cheeks blushing.

"I am a Vampire, I will not wear boring human undergarments."

This fan fiction is dedicated to my beautiful sister, Heather. Thank you for teaching me how to tie my shoes after everyone else gave up trying to teach me. I love you with all of my heart Header.


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